School’s in session! 10 steps for a successful return to school.
As summer draws to an end and the school supplies begin filling the shelves, we are reminded that the the yellow buses will soon be filling the streets delivering kids back to school.
The return to school can be filled with all varieties of emotion - excitement, anxiety, or even dread. Some children love shopping for school supplies and skip happily into school on the first day. Other have a bit more trepidation and may express some concerns for what the new academic year may bring.
One of the most important things you can do for your children is to validate their feelings. Whether they are excited or scared, it is especially important to take the time to identify, name aloud, and talk through these strong feelings and emotions.
For example, you may say to your child, “ I have noticed that you are feeling a little bit ____ (nervous, excited, worried) about going back to school. I remember feeling that way too. Did you know that one time when I was a kid, ______ (and give a brief and relevant example). Lets talk about why are you feeling ______ (nervous, excited, worried).
Of course, some children may not be up to talking about their emotion the very first time you mention it. Make sure to give your children a safe space to talk and let them know that you care about how they are feeling and are available.
For children who are feeling particularly nervous about heading into another school year, below are a few ideas for how to help ease them into the first day:
Identify the emotion and provide a safe space to talk about it.
Start getting your children on a school schedule 1-2 weeks prior to the first day. Big emotions are harder to handle when children are tired - no different than adults!!
Talk about your plan. Identify the specific points of anxiety and problem solve about how to be brave during these moments.
Do a practice run - especially if you child is going to be attending a new school. Drive to the school, do the drop off as ifx it were real, and let your child walk into the school alone. Many students fear getting lost at school. Once older children have their class schedule, allow them a chance to walk thru the school and find their classes without worrying about making it to class on time. If you have a younger child and you will be bringing your child into the classroom, do this version of the first day too. Many teachers will often happily accommodate letting a new child see the new classroom and school prior to the first day.
Meet the teacher. This is especially important for students in the elementary grades. New adults are often some of the hardest people for younger children to meet. Take some of the stress of the first day away by allowing your child to meet and get a chance to talk to the teacher with you by their side before they will have to do it alone on the first day of school.
Give your child something special to take with them to school that will help them to think of you and feel brave. For example, this could be a special bracelet you made together or a photo of your family that they can tape inside of their desk or a folder. Help your child to think of a phrase that they can repeat in their head when they need to feel brave. For example, “I am brave, I am strong, my mommy loves me all day long! I can do this!”
Pick out clothes the night before. One less thing to worry about in the morning!
Eat breakfast. Try to get some protein into your child’s belly prior to heading to school. Protein is one of the best sources of fuel for your child’s brain and will help to get the day started off on the right foot. No one does well when distracted by hunger.
Make sure you have a set plan for after school pick up too. No child wants to feel forgotten (even 2 minutes can feel like forever!) or unsure how to find you after the school day is done. Make this part of your dry run before school starts as well.
Debrief. After the day is done, take the time to debrief and let your child unload the happenings of the day. Many children are not ready for this the second you pick them up and during the car ride home. It may not be until dinner time or when you are tucking them into bed. It may not even be until a few days later and all of the newness has settled down.
While it may be impossible to completely calm your child’s nerves, taking these few simple, yet proactive, steps can ease the transition into the first day of school, helping to make that first day more smooth, more exciting, and hopefully more fun!
